Over the last thirty years I have consulted to literally hundreds of organisations. Apart from organisational efficiency and effectiveness issues, the dominant request I get is “how can we achieve our objectives more effectively?”

When I ask the client what those objectives are, I am no longer surprised to find that often they aren’t at all clear about what they are trying to achieve. Often they are confused by the strategies they have chosen, the tools they have adopted or the route that their competitors have taken, and are focussed on emulating them or beating them.

Strategies and tools such as “Sustained Competitive Advantage”, “World’s Best Practice”, “Total Quality Management” (TQM), and so on, are all well and good but not when they actually detract from the organisation’s core objectives and the fundamental interests of its shareholders. How much more difficult is it then, when the organisation isn’t really clear about what it is trying to achieve – to choose the appropriate tools and strategies?

I inevitably counsel the client to firstly clarify what organisational outcomes will satisfy their shareholders and then it will be easier to determine the suitable strategies and tools to “get them there”.

So what has this got to do with personal destiny and living on purpose?

Over the same thirty years I have also counselled thousands of individuals. They come to me for a range of issues related to work, finance, and personal fulfilment.

The most common statements made to me include:
“I’m not happy.”
“I don’t know what I want, but I do know that what I’m doing now isn’t it.”
“I’m not doing (enough of) what I think I’m meant to be doing with my life.”
“My life’s not going anywhere.”
“Time is running out for me and I’m scared.”
“Is this all there is?”

In other words, whatever it is that makes me happy – I don’t have it, or I’m not doing or experiencing it.

We have all heard these statements. Some of us have actually lived them.


My advice to these individuals is surprisingly similar to my corporate clients: know what you want to achieve in your life and then build the strategies and tasks that will take you to that ambition.

After all, you are your own sole “shareholder”. Most of those near and dear to you are certainly stakeholders in your life but they don’t “own” you. Yet we often allow our own lives to be dictated by others without considering our own happiness – done of course with the best, most noble and well-meaning intentions.

We all understand why this happens. We love our families and are happy (and obligated) to make sacrifices to ensure their happiness, security and nurturing. We are loyal to our boss or our organisation (or our employees) and work hard to ensure  success – we are prepared to make personal sacrifices in the short term in order to secure the longer term benefits.

Many of us are really and sincerely pleased when we make others happy or successful.

This admirable preparedness to sacrifice oneself for others is noble, honourable and valuable and should never be belittled or ignored. Without it society would not evolve.

However, there must always be a balance in life between self and others. Skilfully managed, one should be able to satisfy both needs: on one hand you as your only “shareholder”; and on the other, the needs of all your “stakeholders”.

Pursuing your own fulfilment does not mean that others need to suffer or be exploited. However, when others don’t understand that you too deserve the right to be happy, then maybe those other people need to be as conciliatory as you have been in supporting them.

This applies across many relationships: parents to children; employer to employee and friend to friend. When the satisfactory accommodation of both parties is not possible, then sometimes the parties need to separate – for both their sakes. Anyone who has had to endure a long period in an unpleasant relationship or situation will attest to this. In the short term, there might be discomfort or distress, but in the long term there will be understanding and greater contentment.

My book "Living on Purpose" (http://www.lulu.com/shop/jack-jacoby/living-on-purpose/paperback/product-6550288.html) has been built on the experience of thirty years of helping individuals explore their own needs and wants and in helping define their own visions of happiness – whatever those visions may be for them.

This book has four key objectives.

Firstly: to help readers identify the elements of a vision of happiness that dwells within them.

Secondly: to help define those happiness elements into tangible and realistic dimensions that are meaningful.

Thirdly: to provide the reader with methods to help convert their visions into reality.

Fourthly: to provide the reader with the self-confidence and tools to pursue that which will make them happy – a right that is inalienable and one which only few exercise.

A journey of this type, a journey into your own heart and mind, is an intensely private one.

For some people, this will be a journey of discovery and awe. For others it will be painful and confronting – not because of anything that might be said within this book, but because they may, if they are honest, confront a new reality. The reality may be that they are currently doing things that they really don’t enjoy, and to achieve their own happiness, they may need to change their current state. That might be uncomfortable or painful for themselves or for others dear to them. It doesn’t need to be so, but it might be so.

There will also be some who embark on this journey, discover what makes them happy, determine what they need to do to make it a reality, and then choose not to do it. That is their choice and they have a perfect right to it.  However, having uncovered the “prize”, they will always know that it had escaped them because they chose not to pursue it. Some will be quite comfortable with this, while for others, it will create a permanent and gnawing tension. This too is their choice.

This book can’t make anybody do anything – it can only help those that choose to act.

Throughout this book, there is room for those on the journey to record their feelings and motivations at the time these feeling occur to them: feelings and motivations that influence the nature and character of their dreams and hence their journey toward them.

This is important.

As we progress through our lives, we change as our circumstances change. What makes us happy at one time in our lives may not be the same thing that makes us happy at other times. As an example, a working parent in a demanding job may be stressed when a child becomes ill and the parent hasn’t the time to devote to the child’s needs. Happiness in that context might be having sufficient time to devote to the child without being stressed about being absent from the job. However for most people, as the child grows into adulthood, this need changes and eventually disappears.

The same might occur with an aging parent and the desire to spend time with them before it is too late. Their ultimate death changes the way the caring child may define happiness.

Having read a travel book or a novel might motivate you to visit a far-away or exotic place. Seeing that place might be your dream and your definition of happiness. But then you read or hear about the cruelty of the government and its barbaric practices: and your desire to visit has changed. Your definition of happiness has changed.

When we are young, happiness might be spending time with our friends, while when we are older; happiness may be having some time alone.

Happiness is absolutely subjective – there is no right or wrong definition of happiness. We are each entitled to our own definition of happiness, providing it doesn’t harm anyone and it is legal and ethical.

Therefore, this book allows you to record your definitions, feeling and fears at the time you develop your vision. Some time in the future when you review your vision (as we all need to do from time to time) you will understand what motivated you to define happiness the way you did. If those circumstances have changed, you can feel completely comfortable in changing your definition of happiness and the tasks you have embarked upon to make it real. Knowing what you were thinking when you chose to pursue a particular outcome enables you to change that outcome when circumstances change without feeling guilty for forsaking the outcome.

It can become a destructive obsession if we fixate on something in our lives long after it carries real meaning for us. Like the dysfunctional business, we can err by chasing the enabler instead of the outcome. Outcomes change as we grow and mature and our needs, perceptions and values evolve. Were this not so, our lives would be stagnant.

This manual is therefore a tool to assist a very personal and intimate journey and is intended only for your own use. Because of this, you should be totally honest with yourself throughout this journey. After all, if you deceive yourself here, what likelihood is there that the outcomes will really help you to your target of happiness?

This book is unashamedly about defining your “destiny” and then bringing it to fruition. For many of you it will be about reengineering your life in a way that enables you to live most of your days on earth happy, or at least happier.

It is unrealistic to think however, that we will successfully engineer out of our lives all the things we don’t enjoy: the bills, the unpleasant duties, the drudge and monotony and the frustration. It would be great if we could, and some of us do, but most of us will still have some of these elements in our lives. This program intends to increase the “happy time” compared to the “non-happy time” in our lives.

For some people the concept of “reengineering one’s life” is anathema to their belief system as they believe in living each day as their God brings it to them. We have no objection to this as they, we suspect, are living their own definition of happiness. They will not find much use for this book, but then, they probably wouldn’t be reading it in the first place.

For those that believe that ultimately, we are responsible for our own lives; then this book will be a valuable step-by-step tool for defining and then delivering that which makes them happy.

The program makes an important distinction between itself and other programs that focus on “enablers” (e.g. get rich or get rich quick programs). There are many (some very valuable) programs that help people sell property, network, market products, and so on. These programs argue that by being successful in doing what they are helping you to do, you will accumulate skills or resources that will enable you to live your dream. Some even “implant” in you the dream that they believe is worthy of working for. Limousines, travel, big homes are typical examples of the “model” of success they impart to their adherents.

These programs normally focus on one tool or technique (e.g. networking) to provide the enabler (e.g. money) that will deliver the dream they have given you. That’s OK if you share the dream and are comfortable with the enabler (their program) and the tool.

The problem with these programs is that most disregard the complexity of happiness. It is very rare that one single thing or outcome will provide total happiness.

Being wealthy may bring resources. But if your wealth has cost you a home life, your marriage, your friends, your values, and sometimes your freedom; then is it wealth alone that makes you happy?

Having plenty of time to help others may bring you happiness. But if that “endless” time was brought about because you became unemployed, then is that the sort of “available time” that you would define as “happiness”?

Writing a book (or learning an instrument, or developing a skill) may make you very happy. But if the book is lousy and no one reads it, the music is shocking and no one likes it; then are these the “happiness” outcomes you really meant?

People may be happy with a certain aspect of their lives. They may be happy with their career or family or sporting achievements or other interests and pursuits. But total and overwhelming happiness probably has multiple dimensions. Because we are a fairly complex species, it is likely that having a great and successful career, will not guarantee happiness in family, marriage, social circles etc. Having a wonderful, strong and happy family life doesn’t guarantee happiness at work, and so on.

Most people need multiple things to go right and be right for true happiness.

The program outlined in the book identifies all the elements that are meaningful for your happiness as determined by you. It helps you prioritise them and understand what it is about them that is meaningful. It then helps you achieve them. This is one of the things that is different about this program’s approach. It focuses on you and your happiness. It also recognises that as you grow and experience, so will your definition of happiness.