You might recall that when we were last together, there was a suggestion that we would all meet at our place on election night to observe, monitor and celebrate or commiserate the election outcome.


It pains me to say that I find the current political environment so distressing that I wouldn’t want you to see me lose myself in the bottom of a bottle of Southern Comfort if/when my team lost. Furthermore, if/when my team loses, I can hardly pick up my stuff and go home!

Therefore, with a heavy heart, I advise that the night is cancelled – finished – caput – over. However, we are happy to get together with anyone at a pub, restaurant, footy ground, brothel or elsewhere. Just let us know.

I don’t have the strength to maintain my usual façade of sophisticated urbanity and moderation in the face of the earth opening up and being swallowed by lying, self-serving, rapacious sycophants and malevolent politicians (of either persuasion).

If you want to get together after the election, then please let us know – you’ll need to leave enough time between the election and however long it takes to get over a very bad alcohol-induced depression. If you miscalculate (assuming you ever want to see us again) and find that it’s a REALLY long time before we see each other again, you might find us living on a desert island.

All our love and suitable warning for casting your vote responsibly.